Sunday, June 3, 2012

Kyrie Irving as "Uncle Drew"



"Backboard!" What a phenomenal ad. Instantly vaults Kyrie into the pantheon of great Athlete-Actors, notably including Shaq (the Kazaam to "That's How I Beat Shaq" cameo of the late 90s may just be an untouchable 1-2 punch. Forever.), Schwarzeneggar in Terminator and Kindergarten Cop (life-changing film), Ray Allen as Jesus Shuttlesworth, and, of course, Howie Long in the edge-of-your-seat-thriller Firestorm.




thanks to @theREALtjh for video

Friday, June 1, 2012

Penn State Fans Still Think Joe Pa is Innocent, Come Out With Joe Pa Tribute Song

Random picture of kids from Google. No relation to the scandal whatsoever


Joey Welz - Tribute to Joe Paterno


The evil that was told to him he hardly understood
He reported it to his superiors like he knew he should
What happened after that he really never knew
You don’t tell your superiors what to do
Years later it all came back that he was given the blame
for not doing something more, and he was put to shame
Instead of going out with honor that his good name had earned
For years of service and giving, his image they tried to burn
How could he be wrong, when he tried to do what was right?
God judged him with mercy. Now he lives in God’s delight (All right!)
The records may state that cancer tore his body apart
But through it all he remained stalwart, and he died of a broken heart
[Breakdown]
No trustees can destroy all that for years he created
Not just winning teams, but young men who graduatedd
Yeah, he was the people’s coach, and the people will not stand
for the slandering of one of the best coaches in the land.
Rest in peace, Joe Paterno. Your good name is still intact
Nothing can destroy your image. We won’t let it, that’s a fact
He was the people’s coach, and the people will not stand
for the slandering of one of the best coaches in the land

Penn State fans are the most delusional fans on the planet.  Just can't accept that their beloved Joe Pa would ever do anything wrong.  Maybe you should take a step back and instead of looking at Joe Pa's wins, check out those kids in the picture up there.  They are the focus, not your ridiculous legacy.  You were sort of right in the last verse - nothing could destroy Joe Pa's legacy... except this.  He literally could have killed people and he would have gotten away with it in the Kool-aid drinking town of Happy Valley.  But not kids.  Sorry guys.  Give it up.

Girls Chase Team HuskGuys.com Down the Street



Sometimes it's really hard to be a world famous blogger and on the best slow pitch softball team in Kelly Fields history...

Vandy Coach Won't Hire Assistants Unless They Have a Smoking Hott Wife


Vanderbilt Coach Franklin Says He Only Hires Assistants With Hot Wives


Vanderbilt head football coach James Franklin said Wednesday that he makes hiring decisions based on what the wives look like.“I’ve been saying it for a long time, I will not hire an assistant coach until I’ve seen his wife,” Franklin said on 104.5 The Zone in in Nashville. “If she looks the part, and she’s a D-1 recruit, then you got a chance to get hired. That’s part of the deal.
“There’s a very strong correlation between having the confidence, going up and talking to a woman, and being quick on your feet and having some personality and confidence and being fun and articulate, than it is walking into a high school and recruiting a kid and selling him.”


This is quite possibility the best recruiting tactic of all time. Especially smart by this guy because he isn't exactly the best looking guy of all time.  You want to work for me? You have an impressive resume with stops in the SEC, Pac 12, Big 12 and Big 10? Sweet.  Now move aside and let me give your wife the up and down.  Nope, she's only a 7.  NEXT!!! Can't be having ugly wives parading around campus, what are the recruits going to think?? Best part is this guy is 1,000% serious.  Awesome.

Thanks to @PKrebs28 for the lead

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Chelsea FC tries football and baseball



This might be the only thing ever that gives Brandon Kinnie some sort of leeway with his incredible lack of a) competence and b) ability to "receive" as a wide receiver. Balls just flying off his head, palms, shoulders, chest, upper thigh, everywhere. But when I look at these three Chelsea studs, some of the best athletes in the world, just blabbering and fumbling about trying to catch balls while running embarrassingly shoddy fly routes? Guess I feel weirdly better about the Kinnie days.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Brady Crushes Funny or Die Video



Always respect an athlete that can act. Mainly because there have been thousands who just cannot, in any sense of the word. But Brady and the curly haired kid here just crush this bit.  "Sorry man I can't understand a word you're saying.."

Monday, May 28, 2012

Epic Anti-Iowa Rant

Let me offer up a disclaimer: I don't hate Iowa. I really don't. Never been threatened by them. No reason to be. We were never rivals, and when we played things generally got ugly in a hurry. Plus, Eric Crouch once unleashed a hit on some unfortunate d-back that registered on local Richter scales. Pretty sure that guy is still laying on the field, and I've felt we owe an apology to Iowa ever since. On the flip side, I've known two people (no names, for their safety), that make manifest the quintessential Hawkeye fan characteristics. Outlandish claims like "Iowa's fans are just better than Nebraska's," and "Iowa has a better football program than Nebraska" (not kidding) are met with my looks that are some blend of eyebrow-raised confusion, a frown of deep sympathy, and cringe of light frustration. Just unbelievable. The following rant from Offtackleempire.com by an Iowa State fan preaches about this exact stereotype in beautiful prose. Nailed it. Again, I don't hate Iowa...but I do love this. Enjoy:

Apparently you all don't dislike Iowa enough to write an article ripping on them, so the kind sirs at OTE contacted me to bring the hate on Iowa. As an Iowa State fan and a manager of SB Nation's Iowa State blog, Wide Right & Natty Lite, I probably seemed like a good candidate.
Here's the thing though... I don't actually hate Iowa. It's an esteemed university with a great medical program and plenty of my friends have attended the school and (those who weren't roofied at Summit or raped by Pierre Pierce) are better people for it. Despite not being located in a recruiting hotbed, Iowa's football program consistently churns out NFL prospects and the fine gentlemen over at Black Heart Gold Pants were more than happy to illustrate that point. Most schools would be lucky to do so much with so many inherent disadvantages.
Did you read the paragraph above? Pretend I wrote it about your school, because no Hawkeye fan will ever admit anything positive about another school. To them, being a Hawkeye fan is life. Who you cheer for on Saturdays determines your ultimate self-worth. Got an engineering degree from Iowa State and make good money to support a great family? Well, guess what, that's a much worse life to lead than a methhead that can't get a GED, as long that methhead is a Hawkeye fan.
Star-divide
With no major league professional sports teams in Iowa, it has caused many Hawk fans to suffer from delusions of grandeur. Admittedly, they are the preeminent team in the state, but for a team that has won a third-ish of a national title, there is a disproportionately large number of their fans who believe they're right up there with Florida, Ohio State, Texas, etc. Don't worry about all those National Championships, Husker fans; when you play Iowa, you're actually the lesser program.
I feel sorry for the current students and alumni of Northwestern and Illinois. Half of the Iowa student population is made up of toolbags from Chicago (read: DeKalb, Aurora, Rockford) that didn't have the scores to be admitted to those two universities. These half wits migrate to Iowa City, create "nicknames" for themselves such as "Tony from Chicago" or "Jeff from Chicago" and proceed to embarrass the entire state of Illinois for their 6 years of undergraduate study. Upon completion of their liberal studies degrees they head back to their homelands to continue to be a positive impact on the community as much like Patrick Kane as possible, without the hockey talent.
Iowa fans have this weird "Super Bowl" dynamic that if your team beats them. It's never that their team was ill-prepared (which is probably not a sign of an actual great team), it's that your team only gets up to play the mighty Hawkeyes. Thankfully, the Oklahoma State game happened, so we've been spared from hearing the same tired argument this year. I imagine Northwestern and Minnesota fans are used to this already, but the rest of you will find out soon enough about this concept.
Naziherky1_medium
As Herky proves above, if you're supporting Iowa, you're supporting Neo-Nazism. Also of note is the fact that Iowa has produced Ashton Kutcher, who is killing our collective senses with his terrible movies, and somebody who hits closer to home, Bret Bielema, who fills the whining douchebag quota for the entire Big Ten conference.
Since the Big 12 doesn't look like it's going down in flames and the image of Iowa State relegated to joining the MAC is no longer viable spank bank material, Hawkeye fans probably have plenty of time on their hands to flame away at ESS-EEE-SEE speed.